bd jokes hindi sms jokes hindi jokes jokes in hindi jokes in english

bd jokes hindi sms jokes hindi jokes jokes in hindi jokes in english

When you started drinking

When the driver in front of my police car began weaving in and out of his lane, I quickly hit the sirens and pulled him over. As I approached his window, I was hit with the stench of alcohol. “Sir, can you tell me when you started drinking and how much you've had?” I said. “Well, Officer, I can't tell you how much I've had,” he slurred. “But I started drinking in 1967.”

“Praise the Lord!” Every day a woman stood at her gate and shouted, “Praise the Lord!” And every day the atheist next door yelled back, “There is no Lord!” One day she prayed, “Lord, I'm hungry. Please send me groceries.” The next morning she found a big bag of food on the veranda. “Praise the Lord,” she shouted. “I told you there was no Lord,” her neighbour said, jumping from behind a bush. “I bought those groceries for you.” “Praise the Lord!” the woman cried. “He not only sent me groceries, He made the devil pay for them.”

Bounced cheques........... Too many bounced cheques meant no more Mr Nice Guy for the manager of our local supermarket. A sign in his window announced: “We will gladly cash your personal cheque up to $20 when you provide six forms of ID and a $50 deposit, refundable when your cheque clears the bank.” -- Kristi Hanson

“I'm looking for a boyfriend” “I'm looking for a boyfriend,” I said in my comedy act for senior citizens. “If any of you men are interested, submit your name along with last year's tax return.” I usually get a big laugh with that one, but it fell flat. Only later did the manager explain, “This is a retirement home for priests.”

“Ten, nine, eight...” “Give it to me straight, Doc – how long have I got to live?” the patient asked. “Ten,” the doctor replies. “Ten what?” the patient cried. “Years, months, weeks?” “Ten, nine, eight...”

“You were so brave....." Doreen nudged her husband awake when she thought she heard a burglar, but he refused to investigate. “What's happened?” she whispered. “You were so brave when you married me.” “Yes, that's what all my mates said,” he replied.